About that last journal. It was only up for a few minutes because, well... I realized that if Im so angry and upset that I write a journal like that, and he reads it, its only feeding his power. So I deleted it. It wasnt that important anyways, just a vent journal. Heres some peices of it you CAN read though:

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I've never really been a person who looks down on everything, but right now, I feel like theres nothing to look up to. My family life is going downhill by the second, My weight is dropping so much that I've actually been told by my doctor that if I dont start gaining weight, I'll have to be hospitalized. Im so scared... And now, on top of everything else I have to worry about, the guy I was madly crazy over is out of reach. I havent slept in 4 days, and I've been crying non-stop over the guy of my dreams...

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Yes, thats a very small portion of the actual journal, but to save a fight from occuring, I'd rather not share it to the world. If your one of my friends on here though, and you'd like to talk to me about it, I'd be more than happy to let you know whats going on. I need someone to talk to anyways.